Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Praying...

Just checking back in on my little blog world... saying 'hi' to anyone dropping by. I glanced back at my last post & I'm having a moment of reflection on that. "First things first"... hmmm... How am I doing with that?

I do have a bit of a pessimistic nature, so my first thought is that it's not going all that well. Have I incorporated quiet time/prayer time/bible reading into every day's experience since that last writing. No.

But... :)

I am seeing some progress! I am trying SO hard to look at this 'big picture' style... and that gives me more comfort & frankly, more encouragement! I have had many days of great prayer time and I sense the Holy Spirit working... building & growing me, even if in small steps.

And, not by coincidence I believe, God led me to a new Bible Study at my church. The truth is - I really didn't pick it for the subject. For one thing, after quite a string of unfinished/incomplete studies in my past - I just felt the need to join a study, work on it every week AND make it to the finish line! Mostly, I'd say I was drawn to join more in an attempt to fellowship with other women in my church, to build upon relationships & perhaps make new ones. Plus, the timeslot was nice & convenient.


So, there you go... all those little duckies lined up nice & straight to make this one a 'do-able' choice. Strangely enough, I knew the title of the study... but I just didn't give it much thought.

So, anyway, I go sign up & get my workbook. Done... committed!

Flipping through it a few days later... uhhh... wow! It turns out that The Power of a Praying Woman is actually about improving MY prayer life!! Ohhh... she means... mine?


Now, I know you're impressed with my detective skills there... admit it! Honestly, I can't explain to you just how God worked that... but He did. As a teacher of 2-yr-olds, I recognize a CLASSIC toddler re-direction technique when I see it!! Or, should I say AFTER I see it, that is?!

Anyway, I'm feeling a little blindsided, but I'm not complaining in the least! Because, if I had really given much thought to what a study on MY prayer life would involve - I'm somewhat sure I might have avoided it. Now that I think about it... it sounds like it could be a little uncomfortable, doesn't it? A little stretching... a little growing... it might even require something painful like praying outloud... in front of people & everything! (gasp!)

See? He re-directed me away from the potentially harmful thoughts towards to more positive ones.... just like I might get a 2-yr-old to focus on an interesting toy if I saw her heading for a problem.

So, here I am... Week 2, Day 3. Obviously, I have a long way to go to meet that "completion" goal. But, I will say that I am connecting with this study in a huge way. I'm praying & reading scripture much more than before it started. A big focus on this initial part of the study has been (get this!) making time for time with God every day. It has spurred me into some really thoughtful prayer. And, truth be told, I'm starting to look forward to those moments I spend in the study. Not too bad, I'd say, for Week 2, Day 3!

Ok, so that's one way God has worked in my life in the last few weeks... but here's another....

I have felt an enormous weight in my heart for a specific situation & I'm experiencing a strong desire to pray about it... daily! In short, there is a little 18-month-old in our extended family that is battling her second round with cancer! I hope I am stating this carefully, so as not to be misunderstood... I feel like our God is the ultimate multi-tasker! I believe He has placed this dear child on my heart so that I can pray for her & her mom. I don't understand why, but for some reason God allows our prayers to be powerful! (His power, not ours!)

But, unlike me, He can accomplish multiple things with His Will and none of them suffer in quality! I feel like He has also placed this weight in my heart to pray for them... in order to draw me closer to Him. Because that's what's happening. As I *feel* a burdened heart for this little one, I pray... as I pray, I am drawing closer to Him. And, His Word holds a promise here...


"Draw near to God and He will draw near to you..." (James 4:8a)

Even as I type this, I'm just not sure that's going to come across right. I fear someone may read that and assume I think that the illness is for my benefit. I don't. All I can say is that I *know* I don't have the answers as to why tragic things happen... but I trust that He does. And, though I may get to see little glimpses of truth in a situation, I by no means see His whole picture.


So... back to "First things first".... I can definitely report that God is providing multiple ways for me to follow that New Year's resolution, offered to Him in prayer. Not in my power, but in His! I'm finding myself drawn to pray this verse often:


Show me your ways, O LORD, teach me your paths;
guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior,

and my hope is in you all day long. (Psalm 25:4-5)


I have to close for now, but I'm looking forward to sharing more about all this again soon! Thanks for stopping by! ~d