Purpose...

Purpose... that's where my thoughts are today. It was something touched upon in discussion yesterday at our biblestudy. There was talk about our life's purpose... mostly what I call 'big picture' stuff.

We all have purpose to glorify God & to be in relationship with Him... I get that. And, that is no small thing. In fact, it is truly everything!

But, you know what I'm talking about, right? This idea that we all have a grand, individual, overriding life purpose...
... a mission
.... a "job"
..... "the" thing that you do

Someone might say their purpose is to sing, another might be called to a life of missions, still another could say they were made to evangelize. They seem to have a very clear grasp on this... confident in their path. But, honestly, this subject has always intimidated me a little. Because, as of yet, I haven't "discovered" my "big-picture" purpose. I'm not saying that God hasn't given me gifts to use... I've just not found ONE that I felt best defined my purpose here on the planet.

It just seems to me that... yes, some people definitely have a 'big picture' purpose in their life... but some of us , however, may not. Maybe... this isn't a "one size fits all" concept. And, even though in my past I may have been a little more eager to find that 'big picture' purpose I thought I was supposed to have... now I'm starting to find that I'm ok with the possibility of not having one. I'm open to the idea that there might be something 'big picture' in my future... but if not, I think I can honestly say... I'm good with that.

Because... what if... God has different ways of approaching this? Maybe I'm not designed to be a specialist! Looking back, what I think I see is a trend of 'small picture' purpose happening in my life. Little moments, almost imperceptible if I'm not watching closely. Moments where I'm pretty sure I've served a specific purpose in someone's life... but in a brief moment. A hug, a conversation, maybe just a comment in passing... but almost always something that I've walked away from wondering... where did that come from?! Why on earth did I say... that?

Well, really... I'm past the stage of wondering where it comes from. I know. I still marvel at it... but I know where it's from. I'm starting to think of it as a 'girl friday' sort of purpose ... odd jobs, so to speak :) I've learned fairly well the difference between things that I orchestrate & the things that are orchestrated beyond me. And, slowly, I'm beginning to recognize the feeling of surpressing it, too. (I pray that I will learn to avoid that feeling better as time goes by!)

I think I may even have a small glimpse of understanding as to why 'purpose' might happen this way. (And, please don't think that I'm using this as a sweeping generalization for anyone else... ) but for me, I think it might be a matter of pride. I wonder how I would handle a talent or gift that was so predominant, it would overshadow my entire life. Not that it's something I care to admit, but I think I might be a little prideful about it. And, knowing myself like I do, I'm pretty sure that if I had that ONE big gift... well, I might try to control, manage, enhance, harness and (ouch!) exploit it... just a little.

Is it possible He already knows this about me?? Uhhh... yes, without a doubt. Is it possible that He is, then, working for my good?? Again, yes... I think so.

Because, the way it works for me right now... I'm usually blindsided by these 'small picture' episodes of purpose. I don't usually see them coming & sometimes I'm not even quick enough to avoid them! I hope it doesn't sound too harsh to say... I think He keeps me on a short leash, this way. I'm dependent on Him for the situation, as well as the actions & words within that situation. It almost sounds like there's not much "me" in it at all....

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...................... ok, yeah.... I get it!


One other thought... all of these 'small picture' things that happen... in the end, from the other side of our earthly perspective... maybe they actually create a 'big picture' after all.

But, if not... I'm good with that, too :)



For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11)