Choose this day...

wavering (v): to sway to and fro; flutter.... No, that's not my word, but it is descriptive of "My One Word" journey. In other words, I've had a hard time 'locking in'. I started off with a general idea, but it took a while to 'boil down' to the true essence of what (I believe) God was placing in my heart. There were a few places along the way where I could have stopped & chosen a word that was a little more comfortable... but I've learned that doesn't usually have the best outcome. Especially when I sense God is encouraging me to go beyond that place.

So, "My One Word" for the upcoming year, is packed with a little more challenge: Choose.

choose (v): to select freely and after consideration.

I'm drawn to the fact that it's a present tense verb. Whenever you utter it, there is a sense that you're acknowledging you have options before you NOW. It's kind of a demanding little word, actually - it expects an immediate answer. For me, that can be a little uncomfortable.

To provide a little contrast... if I think of the word "choice", I think of a decision already made, or a decision yet to be made. That word seems to give a little 'wiggle' room... it's all about something that's either done & over with... or, something that is still off in the future. That's much more comfortable... I like things that can wait until tomorrow. And, truthfully... I can easily ignore a word like that. Put it on the shelf for 'later'.

I really liked the word "purpose" for a while... it was such a nice, cozy noun. I could have crawled up there & took a year-long nap. I also liked the word "deliberate" (as in the adjective describing someone who considers carefully)... great description, but still not demanding much. Yes, it would call me to strive towards a particular character quality... but, I think God was calling me to more. I sensed Him saying... "contemplation is good, but you need to incorporate a little more action." I needed a verb. A word of action.

I'm reminded of a portion of Joshua 24:15... "Choose this day whom you will serve..."

Every day I wake up & draw breath... is "this day". Each day, I choose... will I serve my Lord by following His path for my steps? Or, will I choose to follow my own comfy-cozy plans? Either I make the conscience decision for Him, or I make the default decision for 'self'.... but, I can't forget that either way... I choose.

So, now it's your turn. Some of you have shared 'your word' already, but if not... I'd love to hear from you (comments below, facebook, in person... whatever.) I hope to be able to share how God is using this process in my life during the upcoming year...And, I would LOVE to hear of ways that God is moving you & growing you through this process, too.

Let's choose to encourage one another!

(If you want to use the comments section below, you don't have to have a blogger account - just use the 'anonymous' tag. It helps me connect your post with YOU, though, if you leave a name or initials inside your comment.)

My One Word

I guess I should, at least, acknowledge how long it's been since I was last here... but let's not waste good time & words on that. Is everyone ok with that? (crickets chirping) Ok, then... good! Moving on.

For several years now, I've been moving away from the standard 'new year's resolution' idea little by little. I mean, really... what's the point? Do you ever hear people talking about their resolutions in, say... April? September? I don't!

But, there is still a part of me that enjoys the newness of January. Remember new school supplies every September? They were just exciting in a way. Crisp, clean & inviting. How about a brand new car? Pristine & flawless. It all represents a new beginning, a fresh start. Who doesn't like that?

So, not wanting to totally give up that perspective, I have decided to give this a try for 2011: My One Word.

“My One Word” is an experiment designed to move you beyond the past and look ahead. The challenge is simple: lose the long list of changes you want to make this year and instead pick ONE WORD. This process provides clarity by taking all of your big plans for life change and narrowing them down into a single thing. One word focuses on your character and creates a vision for your future.

This idea/movement is led by a church in North Carolina. If you want to check out loads of info/resources/encouragement at their website, you will find them at myoneword.org.


I know it's not for everyone, but this idea appeals to me on a couple of levels. One is simplicity... and I really like simplicity! My memory's not exactly what it used to be, but I think I can still manage to keep one word in my mind. With a small amount of effort, I could probably hang on to one word for a whole year. (...plus, there are always sticky notes - and how many words do you have to actually write down?? Just one! See the beauty of this thing??)

It also appeals to my "it's just the way God made me" side... because I am really fond of words. I try to keep a dictionary handy when I'm reading or writing... because I actually *enjoy* using it. And, not many things thrill me more than the chance to learn deeper meanings in God's Word based on word studies. ...So, go ahead - call me a word nerd... I choose to embrace it.

For me... it's just a good fit! I clearly see the opportunity for this to grow & branch out during the year. I may start out seeing my word in one light right now, but end up seeing it in a completely different way in December. Different definitions, different connotations, different applications... they could all come into play with this exercise.

I also see potential for growth & (shudder) change in this process... and, is that always nice & comfy? Uhhh.... decidedly, no! Think "exercise" here - is that easy & without struggle? The answer is absolutely no... so don't even try to lie to me or yourself. (And, for the record, NO - 'exercise' is definitely NOT my word!)

But, if God is in charge of the change, though... is it always for the better? Yes. Without a doubt!

OK, yeah... let's actually talk about that for a minute. I can't help thinking this will be completely useless if I am not praying & inviting God to lead the work. Actually, that is the whole point of this! If not, I'm just back to my old ways - listing out things & trying to accomplish them in my own power. And, besides - inviting God to lead this makes it infinitely more interesting & exciting! Seriously, do you know my God?? He is AMAZING! He can take the smallest, most seemingly obscure point & manifest it into total & complete life change - if you just allow Him to. If you don't yet know Him, I highly encourage you to make your one word "Jesus" this year. Pray & ask Him to open up your heart & mind to all that He has for you within that one Name. Simple enough, yes? Oh - and, don't forget to keep me posted - I can't WAIT to hear about that adventure!

So, as for me... I've spent a few days thinking about my word. Then, I prayed about it - and got a different one! :-)

I'll check back soon to tell you a little more about it. But, for now... why not think about your own word and pray about it? I would love to hear your thoughts... you can leave a note here, or catch me on facebook. I would love some company along for the journey!

Anyone else in?

Life lessons on the boat...

OK, I'll just say it: I have water issues. Actually, it's a strange love/hate relationship I have... because one of the most ideal settings I can imagine is a pristine beach hideaway. Something deep inside of me is drawn to that. I very much enjoy walking along the water's edge. I dearly love the sound of the roaring ocean or the gentle lapping sound of the lake. I could sit & fish for hours, if the conditions were right. And, watching a sunset on the water? Nothing better!

But, then there's the other side to that coin. I won't infect you with my curse, but let me assure you... I have an ample supply of very dark imagery in regards to the depths of the average lake or river. I have absolute respect for the sheer power of God's oceans... and don't see any valid reason to get much farther out than knee deep in them. And, don't even get me started on the creatures that reside below sight level of any body of water. I am in awe of God's amazing creations under there... but, interacting with them in their environment? Um mm... no!

Over the years, though... I've learned to reconcile these conflicting thoughts & feelings fairly well. It pretty much goes like this: I enjoy what I enjoy & I avoid the rest..... and I'm good with that! Really! I don't care to be cured of this malady. The rest of the world (including my water-loving husband) is certainly free to engage in their obviously senseless water behaviors... I'll even smile & wave from my nice, relaxing (likely canopied) position from the shore! ...Live it up, crazy people!

(I say that last part in my head... just so there's no hurt feelings!)

And, that all worked pretty well for me until a few years ago... when I became a mom. After only a short few steps into this parenting thing, it became pretty clear that my control systems were going to be challenged. You see, all of the coping skills and carefully placed parameters I had incorporated into my life regarding this subject worked great for me... but, I instinctively knew it wasn't something I wanted to hand off to my children. On the other hand, if water dangers loomed large in my mind before I had children... I promise you the monsters were now infinitely larger! Any parent will tell you... the moment you have a child, danger to your child far outranks any danger to self.

So, what's a land-lover to do here in the heart of Texas... a place with more lakes & rivers than you can shake that proverbial stick at??!!

Worse yet, what's a water-phobic mom to do when her husband excitedly acquires a boat "for the kids" ??!!

Sigh... yes, a boat! In case you're not familiar with this thing, it's a device created specifically for taking you & your beloved offspring away from perfectly solid ground... causing you to hover precariously by a matter of inches over dark, ugly lake water to which there is no bottom. You heard me: None!

And, just to up the ante.... sometimes you do this at really fast speeds! Or, you tether said-offspring BEHIND the boat and drag them around the lake ... Golly, there's just no end to that FUN !!

Sorry, that just had to be said....


But, back to my question... what's a mom to do?

She gets on the boat... and she prays!

She prays for the safety of her children & husband... he is driving the boat, after all. But, that's just a start... (Pray without ceasing?? No problem... well, off shore, at least. Funny how a little pressure can make that MUCH easier, huh?!)

She also struggles with every fiber of her being to hold her critical tongue with her husband... running, instead, in prayer to tattle on him to her Heavenly Father. (As a sidenote, ladies... I don't recommend clinging to that tattling attitude too long - but in dire circumstances, it's definitely a start! Remember, God's not out to change your husband through your prayer - He's out to change you! Let Him!)


She notices the futility of her white-knuckled grip on the side of the boat & confesses her desire for control. She repents of the fact that her desire for control is at it's core... well, a lack of faith in Him. That is... until a few minutes later, when she notices that grip & has to do it all over again.

She prays for a peace beyond anything she can understand, as she pours out her fears before Him in her heart. Each and every fear... as it bobs it's ugly head to the surface.

As a peace settles in, she is able to look around her environment & see some other prayer needs... She might pray for God-given wisdom for those young boys that are surveying the cliff's edge over some questionably shallow water. And, the children that seem unsupervised over at the shore.

She sees the happy faces of her own little ones as they enjoy the day God has given them... and prays to actually enjoy their joy.

And, as she finally is able to enjoy the best part of the outing (you know, those last few moments of pulling up to the dock).... she prays a heartfelt prayer of thanks that all went well.


Finally back on dry ground... she gives a spiritual nod to God, saying "Whew! thanks!! You were really great out there! It was awesome the way I could really feel you out there with me!

As she walk away, she calls over her shoulder "...it's OK, I got it from here... but, seriously - thanks again!"... and she thinks "...you know, it's a shame that prayer couldn't be like that more often."



...or, could it?
Draw near to God and He will draw near to you (James 4:8)

Make the time...

Here's how my day started today: Got up with no time to spare... just like every other morning. Rushed the kiddos thru their morning routine, rushed out the door to get them to school on time. My plan was to then rush back home to get in my morning prayer time before heading out into the rest of my day. Sounds great so far, huh?? :(

Well, I had dropped off one kiddo at school & was en route for the second drop-off. Our sweet little community doesn't really have traffic... but there is one spot that gets a little tricky at times & can cause a little driver stress. I don't always encounter that spot, but today I did.... and I received a nasty little honk from another driver. AND to top it off, it was accompanied by a frustrated gesture. It wasn't the really rude gesture (you know the one) - it was just a show of displeasure. But, it was just enough to make my blood boil a little & return in kind. I feel compelled to tell you that I also added a vigorous little wave as I went my way - dripping with sarcasm, but at least I was able to tell my son I was just waving - hoping he couldn't quite perceive the real motive. Yep, add me to the mommy-of-the-year list for that delightful move! ~yuck!~

It happened very quickly, and I was angry at the other driver for all of a few seconds... but then I spent a lot more time being angry at myself & wondering where in the world that comes from. One minute, I'm planning my prayer time & the next minute I'm a short step away from road rage behavior?? What???? I'm pretty thankful that God had Paul include his comment about 'doing the stuff I don't want to do'...

(Romans 7:19) For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing.

...at least I know I'm not alone in this human condition!

But still... it just kind of set a negative tone on the beginning of my day. The good thing, though, was that I was able to come back home & get in that prayer time just as I had planned. After a little heart to heart with the Lord, I really did feel refreshed & renewed and took on the rest of the day with a much better attitude. Not just a better day, but a really enjoyable one with His peace in my heart. A changed day!

It wasn't until later, though, that it dawned on me... if I had truly started my day with that prayer time (as in, before I left the house at all!), I probably wouldn't have jumped to instant anger with the driver I had encountered earlier. I would have already been in His peace at that moment. Now, I'm not saying Christians don't get angry... but I am pretty sure that if you have spent some time in His presence, you're just not going to be as likely to 'go there' with needless anger quite so quickly.

Makes me wonder... if I prayed first thing more often, might I avoid more icky actions in my day that I regret? Hmmm... it's a thought.


In the morning, O LORD, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait in expectation. (Psalm 5:3)

OK, so it's been a while... I do occasionally check back in on my blog & that Nov '09 post has been intimidating me for quite some time now. Not the content - just the date. I've felt like I "should" write... but instead I've just stared at the blank page not knowing what words to put forth.

For me, in the past - this might indicate a season of spiritual dryness. But that's not really the case this time. In fact, I am probably sensing the God-stirrings in me & around me more than ever before. But, unlike any other time I can recall.... it is not creating that "feeling" that calls me to write.

I sense that God just might be doing a NEW work within my heart... a cocoon stage for me, perhaps. So, for now... I eagerly & prayerfully wait.

But, so that your visit is not a complete waste... allow me to share His Word that has captured my heart for several days. It is a beautiful truth, indeed!

"Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know." (Jeremiah 33:3)

Love to all! ~d

All in?

Let me pause right up front... because I feel the need to remind you that this platform is my place to work out thoughts... NOT a place where I claim to have THE answer. You may not agree with my 'take on it' at all... and that's ok. Truthfully, as I continue on the journey - I may not even agree with these words. But, for today...


I am finding myself in one of those seasons where God keeps bringing me to the same topic... repeatedly. I am thankful He is so very patient with me... especially when I seem to be so very slow to 'get it'!

Recently, our small group broke past some of the common social barriers & got down to a rather meaty convesation. (LOVE THAT!!) We started to dig into this idea of 'middle ground'. (If you've read my last couple of posts, you'll definitely recognize a theme here!) So, I am again in thought over this subject.

There were many facets to the conversation... but one honest & real comment has my full attention at the moment. It went something like this... "I'm not sure about this 'no middle ground' idea... because I don't see that I am all in -OR- all out. So, where does that leave me?"

Indeed! Who among us can deny this thought? I certainly can't (and I've got the blogs to prove it!).

So, I'm wondering what exactly the definition of "ALL IN" really is? Not in a 'what's the minimum I can do' sort of way.... but as a true self-examination of where I'm at, spiritually speaking.


We might all be tempted to define "ALL IN" by action...

..serving at the soup kitchen every weekend

....going off to a far away land to be a missionary

......committing to giving a huge monthly dollar amount at church

........renouncing our culture's norms to live a 'simple' life


Even though those things might be present in an "ALL IN" life... the danger of identifying one or more of those actions as "ALL IN" is pretty clear. When we use this sort of 'checklist'... we are smack dab in the middle of legalism. Really, this thinking just promotes the idea that you can actually achieve perfection... I mean, what arbitrary number of items on the checklist will it take to reach "ALL IN"? 1? 5? 10? That's not something I find in the Bible.

And, if there isn't a 'magic number' of items to check off... won't there always be at least one more thing I can "DO"? Is it possible to "DO" it all? And, if I can't "DO" it all... then, am I really "ALL IN"? Wow, what a little hamster's wheel *that* is.... it sounds exhausting physically & spiritually.


Hmmm... so, if my actions alone can't get me to the "ALL IN" line... then what does?

What about my motivation for the actions? What if the "ALL IN" line is crossed not at the moment I DO "great" things for Him.... but at the moment of choice to follow Him wherever He leads... to trust Him, come what may. Isn't this the very picture of relationship with God? Me, taking my meager offering (laying down the life HE gave me in the first place)... and in return, He guides me by His perfect plan.

I think that's pretty close... except it sounds like a one-time-shot. One choice, once & for all. I don't know about you... but that's not my experience. Mainly because... I keep waking up. And many of the choices I made yesterday... well, they are back in front of me again today. Just because I chose to trust Him yesterday, doesn't mean I won't crash & burn today.

*sigh*


So, honestly - I'm just not sure what the answer is to this question. I have had moments where I could say with 100% certainty that YES, I AM ALL IN! I've had a taste of it, and I have to say - there is joy & peace there!

But.... then, I have those *other* moments that aren't so "inspirational" for anyone around me!


Maybe that just makes me an "ALL IN".... in progress.

staying dry...

Personally, I think this post will make the most sense if you read my previous one before you read this one. But, hey... if not, I can summarize it pretty quickly: I talked about the realization that I was camping out in a 'middle ground' that doesn't really exist.

...hmmm, wait. 'Realization' is a nice, pleasant word, but it does make it sound like something "I" did... so instead, let's say... this:

"I talked about getting smacked up side the head with the fact that I was camping out in a middle ground that doesn't really exist."

Ok... yes, that's much more accurate!

So..... anyway, what does that mean exactly, you ask?

Yeah.... good question! I asked it, too. What came to mind is this... you can be NEAR water, but if you want to experience it fully - you have to get wet. There is NO middle ground there... you either stay dry or you get wet. Period.

The following piece comes from that thought.

(and, yes - I realize if you know me... this hiking/camping analogy is a stretch... but just go with it!)


Here I am on my trail... heading for a campsite. I've learned about an amazing waterfall... and I HAVE to go! And, I'm not "just" going - I'm going ALL OUT. I mean, sure... I could have stayed back at the cabins where "the tourists" stay... but I'm serious about this. I am ALL ABOUT this waterfall experience - unlike "those other people", I want to experience it completely.

So, I hike. Pretty soon, I come to a ridge with the most amazing view. Seriously... AMAZING! I can see it, I can hear it. I can take breath-taking photos. And... as I survey the area, I begin to realize how smart I would be to camp here. In fact, I can see now that it has been used often by previous campers. Why, this just might be "the" perfect campsite! And the best part is, my stuff won't get wet from the waterspray. Of course, that wasn't really my original plan, but now that I'm here... I'm starting to see how much better this would be!

For a brief moment, I think about what I set out to do. I remember how I was really looking forward to feeling that spray of water on my face and how I wanted to reach out my hand & touch the falls! But... I quickly decide this is a lot more sensible. After all, I'm so close - I can hike over there in a matter of minutes. I guess you might even call this "middle ground". Kind of perfect in a way, now that I think about it. Not back at the cabins with "those people". And, not camped out IN the water (I mean, really - who does that?) Yeah... middle ground sounds just about right.

So, I unpack. Set up. Arrange. Prepare. I take breaks here & there... and snap off about a thousand pictures. I am so drawn to that view! I even spend some time watching others who made it to the base of the falls.... they seem to really enjoy the feel of being there. But, now that I've set up camp.... I'm realizing that it's not all that convenient to go over there myself. I've got all this stuff here (it's some good stuff, you know!) - I can't just walk off & leave it unprotected. I would take it with me, buuttt... it's pretty heavy. And, well... I *just* unpacked it. And, now that I think about it, a lot of this stuff would be ruined if it got wet. I decide to think about it some more...

While I'm thinking it over, I want to make sure & use my time wisely... so I busily work around the campsite. After hanging up that hammock, it would seem a shame not to use it... and the sunshine is so nice & warm... very peaceful. Sleep comes so very easily...

As the sun moves across the sky, I wake up with a quick glance at my watch - whew! Where's the day going? Like it or not, the trip will come to an end... but it's still early enough. I should really hike on over the base of the falls... if I'm going to do it at all. Buuutt... now, I'm realizing that I am kind of hungry. I don't guess I'm really prepared to go right this minute.... and there's still this *stuff* to think about. So, while I'm thinking.... I get busy preparing my meal. (Don't you just love the smell of a good campfire?)

And, then I'm busy eating my meal.

And, cleaning up after my meal.

And, resting after my meal.

Ok. I've given this enough thought. You know what? I'm just going to hike over to that waterfall right now. As I grab my boots & start to put them on... I notice someone rushing up to my campsite with a sense of urgency. It's a uniformed soldier and he says that I have to leave immediately. There's a wildfire headed straight for my campsite & there is not a minute to waste. Well, wait a minute, I say... I don't see anything, I don't even smell the smoke... surely there's time for me to get over to that waterfall. I mean it's the whole reason I came here. It won't take long at all, I'm so close!

Sorry, he says. Orders are to leave immediately. Shocked & saddened, I nod and start to gather my stuff. No, he says... you don't understand. I mean immediately... and with that, he whisks me out of the campsite, empty handed. At once, I realize that all of my belongings... all of my stuff.... those things that I fretted over, hovered over & protected... they are now gone forever, just like my chance to have that waterfall experience. Had I only realized that they were truly just temporary... that I would lose them anyway, maybe I would not have let them keep me from the part of the trip that was most important!

And, another thing occurs to me now, too... that there really wasn't any such thing as 'middle ground', after all. There was simply the choice to stay dry... or go get wet.