Appointments: a different perspective

In my last post, I tried to describe an experience I've been having lately. These little encounters with people where I get to see God working right in front of me... my spoken words, my physical presence - but His purpose, His power. I'm not describing some sort of "out of body" experience where I'm "taken over" by a supernatural force. No - it's just normal everyday kind of conversations, comments, gestures. Nothing brilliant or special on my part... but in His power, turned into something purposeful in someone else.

OK... so why am I exploring this again? Well, last night I was involved in just such an appointment. The difference being that I was on the receiving end! Let's see if I can do it any justice in explaining it...

Our Sunday evening church service was focused on the importance of testimony. I'll say without reservation that the three testimonies presented were POWERFUL! I was reminded just how important our personal witnesses are! We might hear testimonies from someone we don't know & be moved. But, how much more powerful to hear the straightforward, unpolished story of Christ's salvation in your neighbor's life! It was truly profound!

But, God wasn't finished. Our pastor then announced that we would *all* be sharing our testimony! I've spent my life carefully avoiding any such occasion... but I'll just say that God is doing a different work in me today. And, well... I'm slower. So, before I could make an escape - he asked us to reach out beside us & identify a testimony partner. As God would have it, I actually ended up without an immediate partner. But not far away I saw an acquaintance that was also without a partner - so I called out to her. Needless to say, God wasn't deterred in the least by the fact that we weren't sitting next to each other. Apparently, He was doing some appointment scheduling :)

Our assignment was to briefly share our testimony with each other. Truth be known, we have been working up to this on Sunday evenings & we were asked in previous weeks to begin writing out our testimony. In those seconds of getting situated with my partner, I was quite aware that I *should* have done that homework - because it now meant I would just be opening my mouth & hoping for something coherent to come out. Trust me, this is not my strength at all! Unlike my written words, spoken words lack the opportunity for review & edit - a process I dearly value! So... within seconds, I was talking - not sure exactly what would come forth. For me, that situation usually means too many words & disjointed thoughts come tumbling out. I am powerless to stop it!

I began to share with this sweet friend, trying to keep it as 'efficient' as possible. In a nutshell, my story is this: God has always been part of my awareness, someone I knew my family "believed" in... more as a matter of fact, not anything resembling relationship. Church attendance was sporadic & became more rare as I got older. But, what I know is this: At about age 12, alone, in my room one evening - I asked Jesus into my life. I have since spent much time questioning that experience - was it real? Was I really saved at that point? I can only tell you that I now have a firm & unshakable faith, that yes - I was saved at that point. But, I had no support system in which to grow & mature in my faith.

I went on to explain that although I accepted Christ's salvation at that early age - I spent over a decade living contrary to His lordship in my life. I made choice after choice (~sigh~ after choice!!) that could have (should have!) taken me into worldly strongholds. I was headed toward some of the very best pits the world has to offer. I don't think I ever completely forgot that God was there... I just chose to do things my own way. As I verbalized my thankfulness for His hand of protection during those years, I spoke aloud the long-standing question of my heart... why? I've marveled now for years that it was His hand protecting me... I've just never understood why! She was nodding, smiling... and said quietly: "because He loves you."

She had been a great 'active' listener... offering encouragement & expressing understanding words thus far. I continued with my testimony... detailing the point at which my life had taken a turn towards God, instead of continuing my path away from Him.

But, my thoughts were being pulled back to what she had just said... "because He loves you."

It began to flood my heart in a way that I just can't describe to you. It's a simple statement, right? I've had the privilege of hearing it hundreds (thousands?) of times, in many different ways... but in that moment, it was overwhelming in it's power. It was that missing piece to a puzzle... and, ironically, had been in full view all along. Why did He protect me during those 'desert years', as I like to call them?? Because He loves me! I am His child - as the father loved the prodigal son, so too does He love me... (and you, by the way!!) Undeserved, unmerited love!

So - now I'm not even sure what else I said... I think my mouth was on auto-pilot for the rest of my "turn". I was so focused on this revelation happening within my heart. And, even now I worry that you're thinking... "That's it?? She just said that God loves you?? All of *this* to just describe that someone said God loves you??"

Yep, that's pretty much it!

... but, that brings me back to the idea of "the appointment". I don't mean to underestimate my friend's contribution, but I suspect that it was just an unplanned little comment - nothing very deliberate - just part of the conversation. Four simple little words, uttered as encouragement... but God using them powerfully in someone else's heart.

"Appointment" defined!

Watching for the next appointment...

Do you ever get "stuck" on a word... one that just keeps popping up in your speech & in your thoughts? I don't mean the current popular "catch phrase" that you hear everywhere you go... I'm thinking more personal in nature. For me, this usually has a connection to a spiritual concept that is being built upon or worked out from within... a theme that just keeps showing up for a season of time. I attribute this to God's Holy Spirit at work - growing me, teaching me.

Right now, my word is "appointment". Usually, when I use the word 'appointment', it isn't within the context of something exciting... doctor appointment, car service appointment, dentist appointment, etc, etc. I suppose some of you out there may actually have *fun* appointments, but in my world - appointments are generally just something to check off the list, not something to look forward to.

But, lately the idea of an 'appointment' has taken on a really different feeling for me. I'm not sure where this use of the word first crept into my thought process, but I suspect it is from a book or bible study in my past. So, just for the record, I am not trying to pass this concept off as my own. The idea itself isn't new to me - just it's application in my own life.

You see, I've recently had the incredible privilege of having some God-scheduled "appointments" with people. Encounters where I get to see God working through me in a particular moment. I'm not the power at work, I am very simply the means of delivery. When electricity travels from it's source to turn on the light, the wiring doesn't really do anything... it's just there, right? Well, that's me: I'm not the power at work, I'm just there.

Now, don't get me wrong here... I haven't rescued anyone from a burning building or anything nearly so dramatic. What I have witnessed, though, is God at work through some normal, everyday kind of events: a conversation, an off-hand invitation to church, an email. In my own power, these are just "blips on the screen" in everyday life. But, in God's power?? It's an amazing transformation. He has taken my simple (most of the time, down-right clumsy!) words & actually used them to have meaning for someone else. It might be tempting to think of these as 'small' events - not worthy of much attention. But, our God is purposeful - His every act has value. To be included in even the 'smallest' way? What a tremendous blessing!

I want to be careful to say again that these are not MY appointments... the way I see it, my job is to just keep my eyes on Him. If I start trying to do it in my own power - like Peter, I'll just start sinking! So, I keep reminding myself that the "who, what, when, where" - those are all His details to handle. Honestly, that stuff is way too overwhelming for me anyway... I'm very thankful it's not my job to coordinate all of that. So, my prayer is very basic: that I will choose to make myself available by staying in prayer, that I will have eyes to see where He is leading me... and that I will choose to follow, even when it's not convenient or easy.

In the meantime, I will be waiting, watching & hoping for that next appointment...